Thank you

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It has occurred to me, that I have been very lacking in remembering all the wonderful things that have been said and done for me, especially in all my depression and sadness. I am so grateful to the family & friends that have been so kind and understanding of my moods and mindset. I am very lucky to have what I have, I haven't forgotten that. I haven't been good for thanking many of you for your friendship or good deeds, but I want to change that. It will make me feel better with luck it will let you know that I do appreciate you and all that you've done for me. Thank you so much for extending your time, efforts, comfort, and friendship to me all of the time, but especially during my dark times/moods. Without all of you I'd still be wallowing for sure. Make no mistake, I still lament my loss, but I don't expect that will ever change. I just want you to know that you all mean so much to me and that I am thankful for all that you have said or done. Thank you for all of your support. ALL of my family & friends, in person or online, old & new. You guys are the greatest!

Progress.. ?

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I had hoped to be writing this with more to show, but a little is better than none right? I still cry.. I still get upset when I see pregnant ladies.. I still feel miserable when I watch TV with little babies, pregnant women, or people talking about having another child. But, the crying is less, the negative feeling is less, and the completely drowning feeling of overwhelming misery has lifted somewhat. Yesterday I met my friend's son for the first time, all of 8 months old. It made me want one so badly, but I held him and snuggled him, and he felt so good! And I didn't feel sad or depressed about it at all. And that I consider progress. In the trials of grief, it's the little wins that make the steps forward easier. So I suppose I can say, yes, it has gotten better.